Suit 'er up

Ready or not the time has come.  The temps have hit into the 90's....Memorial Day weekend has come and gone....the pools are opening....and it is only days til my beach vacation......let the quest for a swimsuit begin!  I have not donned or even owned a swimsuit for the past few summers so let me just say I would rather have tiny bamboo shoots shoved in my eyes than shop for one (and this says a lot since I LOVE to shop).

My criteria for the perfect swimsuit is simple:  please don't let me look like one of the people in those "people at wal-mart" emails....you know the ones.  Seriously, do these folks not have a mirror at home????  And as one of my friends said,  "Was there NO one there to stop them from leaving their house like that?"

So, here are my thoughts on finding the perfect swimsuit:

1.  It must be age appropriate.  I am 43 years old and I am sane enough to know that anything with ribbons, big bows and cartoon caricatures is just gonna look silly.

2.  It must be flattering.  Ladies, we all have a pretty good idea of what we need to hide.  Do it.

3.  It must not cost a fortune.  Since when did  a sliver of fabric  cost an arm and a leg???

4.  It must be comfortable.  I don't care how great it looks,  you will NOT  look good in it if you are constantly digging it out of your who-ha.

5.  It must be wearable.  Most of the high fashion designer clothes we see on the runways of New York are not the sort of outfits you'd wear on a day to day basis.  Ditto on the swimsuit. No swimsuits that would yield funky tan lines or make me feel like I couldn't roll around in the sand. (not that that even sounds appealing, but you know what I mean)